Radio Kon: Rulz Blo
by Yemi Hikari
Summary: Of course Kon isn't going to like the rulz placed upon him by those who make the rules for his station, so what exactly is he supposed to do about it. Things just don't ever go the way planned.
1. 1:6a Scripted

_Disclaimer – I do not own Bleach._

**Radio Kon: Rulz Blo  
~Scripted~**

Kon: Today, we are going to have another segment of Radio Kon! Today's subject is…

Behind Kon, in the radio recording booth, the door opens with a click, and Hanataro steps in. The fourth division medic is a tad agitated for some odd reason. "Kon! We have a slight problem!"

Kon: And what might it be this time?

Hanataro twiddles his fingers. "FFDN Radio doesn't allow for submissions exclusively in script format!"

Kon: That makes no sense. Radio and television both are script format.

This causes the shingami to let out a sigh. "Rules are rules, and I intend to obey them and not get into trouble.

Kon: Well, I don't agree with them, so I plan on not listening. Plus, others do stuff that is exclusively script format.

This causes the small shingami to start waving his hands in the air. "Two wrongs don't make a right. Plus, just because someone disagrees with a shunpoo speed limit, doesn't mean they should break it."

(Kon sweat drops)

Kon: I don't think that even exists.

"I know…" Hanataro places his hands on his hips. "But we don't have cars in soul society… so that would have been a bad example.

Kon: The way you put it was a bad example.

This makes Hanataro to place a hand on his chin, then begging to pace around. "What if I were to give you reasons and examples why the rules are in place and script format shouldn't be used?"

Kon: Fine.

Hanataro holds up a finger. "When doing a parody, it is easy to run into plagiarism."

Kon: We're not parodying. Radio Kon is Radio Kon, not… the Melancholy of what's it's face.

This causes the young medic to sigh, and he holds up a second finger. "Some people use script format as an easy way to write it out, in other words, lazy."

Kon: I'm not lazy.

Hanataro watches as the stuffed lion bear picked his nose. "I call leaving out the stage directions of you trying to remove excess mucus from your nose lazy."

Kon: Says you (yells). Don't go spreading my personal business around (calms down).

The third finger gets held up. "Description!"

Kon: Now whose being lazy.

"Pull out something… let's say, a flower," comes the reply.

(Kon pulls out a flower)

Kon: The point?

This signals his assistant to pull out a flower. It had red petals, with bright yellow streaks and center. "See?"

Kon: Oh yeah!

(Kon pulls out a blue flower, with violet petals, yellow streaks on the orange and a reddish green stem)

"That does it!" an irate voice comes from the doorway, as Hitsugaya Toshiro opens the door to the room. He walks over to Kon's script with a marker, and scratches something out, and rewriting it.

(Kon pulls out a flower)

Kon: Hey, I don't want a plain flower!

"You are using script format wrong," Toshiro mutters, his irritation growing. "Not to mention that description written was impossible."

Kon: No it's not.

Toshiro's two teal eyes roll at this. "So you two, what is the color red-green?"

Kon: what, you're going to tell me it doesn't exist?

"It's brown," Hanataro mutters nervously. "Scripts use basic description anyways."

"Not to mention scripts only use directions and description when needed," Toshiro states, glaring at the stuffed, living toy.

Kon: But what if I wanted to let people reading… uhh… listening, know that I'm wearing a particular brand of clothing?

This causes Hitsugaya Toshiro to scratch his head."First off, the only brand of clothing you wear, from what I hear, is Yuzu Wear…"

Kon: Now where did you hear that… and why are you here?

"Ahh…" Toshiro suddenly raises an eyebrow. "That is my business, and the other thing is that Yamamoto thought this would be a social learning experience for me. Oi! I don't need to tell everyone that!"

Kon: You need it…"

At that, Toshiro feels his jaw clench. "Anyways, you simply don't get it. Scripts are made for open interpretations of the subject matter when presenting it. That is why, even thought the dialog is the same in almost all Romeo and Juliet play, each time, there is a different take on it."

Hanataro sighs. "Script writing isn't easy, remember… that's why we tend to just run with it…"

Kon: Darn. I give in. So much for this session of Radio Kon!

**Radio Dial Off  
Video Screen On**

The room is rather dull, with only a screen on the front. On the huge screen, a freeze frame of the Radio Kon members is plastered, and a silver haired man walks up with a pointing stick. "Sorry Chibi-taicho, but you do need more social interaction with kids your age. I think you would love it, more than hate it."

The man tilts his head, while having his arms crossed, opening one eye slightly. "One is possible wondering, what the hell is going on here. I sometimes wonder that to about my sanity. As far as I am concerned, I am not admitting that there is a writer for all of this, because then that would admit that we all aren't real. Believable, but not real, and I refuse to deny my existence."

He then goes on, spattering away. "Anyways… what this about, is the FFDN's rules about content and submissions to its radio waves. Parody, it is so much fun, isn't it. I mean, come on… fine…"

"First off, you are possibly wondering how is it, that this one episode of Radio Kon doesn't break the rules. Kon was lucky that forth pipsqueak showed up when he did, and added some interesting stuff in. I mean, hello… we almost had a full show full of script format, and I wouldn't have anything interesting to comment on, and thus I wouldn't even bother showing up."

"Isn't script formatting a lazy way to tell a story?" Gin suddenly pulls out a picture book, called _The Egg_, by Phyliss Fogelman. "I mean, imagine this nice picture book in script format, no pictures. Actually, I can't imagine it because I've never read it, but I bet chibi-taicho would like it… it's supposed to be about a boy and a dragon."

The book gets tossed aside. "The point is, if the picture isn't painted for a story, then it is up to the reader to determine those things from the words given. Script format simply doesn't give enough words to do so, and lets to many possibilities run rampant."

Gin turns, suddenly pulling out a hat from the European renaissance period of time. "That was where the reference to different adaptations come in. Script allows for a very free, very lose interpretation, while a story… well, sure, the imagination is still there… for example, you can't tell what color my hat is… I'll tell you. It is blue… no red. That is a point the author doesn't want to elaborate, I mean I want to elaborate."

"Oh yeah… why this episode doesn't go and break rules… simply because it isn't script format. No offense to those who like to work and write in that format, but a lot of them out there… they break to many rulz… yes, I said rulz, and end up being a mess and hodgepodge. Plus, they are better off, being turned into an actual live version, are they not, and presented that way? Most get it wrong."

"Anyway, thanks for joining me for this week's _Arrancar Research Time_," Gin stats, as an Arrancar with neon blue hair storms in.

"What the hell! What does that have to do with any of us Arrancar!" the cat like man states.

"Ahh… Grimjow… welcome back! I think only one of you are left, so it's a rather mute point, don't you think?" Gin smiles, causing the Arrancar to roar in frustration. "Oh… episode three… might be a little harder to stomach, because of the 'Real Person' issue being handled. Hopefully though, it won't upset anyone.

_**List: **__1-1a - List; 1-1b - blooper; 1-1c polls; 1-1d challenges; 1-1e author notes; 1-2 one liners; 1-3 MST; 1-4 Real People; 1-5a choose your adventure; 1-5b second person/you based; 1-5c Q __**1-6a chat/script format**__; 1-6b keyboard dialogue; 2-1 multiple entries; 2-2 rewriting names; 2-3 songfic; 3-1 rated K & proper rating; 3-2 proper category; 3-3 separate entries; 4-1 proofread; 4-2 respect reviewers; 4-3 respect the writers; 4-4 proper text formatting_


	2. 2:3 Radio Edit

**Radio Kon: Rulz Blo  
~Radio Edit~**

Kon the mod sole sits at the radio control panel, a gleem in his eyes. "Today, we'll be listening to some music. First up is a nice song by the Jonsus Brothers!"

"Stop!" Hataro opens the door, a pererped look on his face. "It's Jonas Brothers for one thing, and second, we aren't allowed to play that!"

"What do you mean?" Kon suddenly asks, as Hitsugaya sticks his head in the room to listen, mouthing the words, _never heard of them_.

"Sorry, but we're only allowed to use stuff in the public domain," the fourth division medic sighed.

"Justin Beaver?" Kon's eyes look hopeful.

"Who?" Two teal eyes feel with confusion, which causes Hanarou to hold back a chuckle.

"Ah… no… sorry," Hantarou covers his mouth.

"What is so funny about this?" The small taicho shakes his head.

"What about lady gaga?" Kon sighs.

"Ahh…" the fourth medic scratches his head. "No… and Unohana taicho doesn't let me listen to her anyways. We'd be in huge trouble."

"Shakesphere?" Kon's final hope escapes his mouth.

"He isn't music baka! Where did you get the idea that he was?" Toshiro's mouth twists up in a smirk.

"I thought that because of Ichigo's interest in him," Kon shakes head. "Metalica… and don't tell me you don't know who they are,"

"Oh… I know who they are, do you? Or do you simply know who they are because of Kurosaki?" The tenth division taicho's reply is meant to shock, not to mention, is part of his own humor.

"No…" the other male in the room sighs.

"By the way. We have a request. One that we _can_ play." There is mirth in the small taicho's eyes.

"Finally, we have something!" Kon responds, as Hitsugaya leaves the room. He pops the tape in.

"Ahh… Kon… he's up to something." However, that question is awnsered when the song comes on.

"_I love you. You love me._" Barney continues to sing, causing the two to cover their ears. The phone calls begin to roll in.

A voice identifiable as Renji's suddenly pops up. "Why the hell did you guys play that _beep _song!"

A small, very hyper voice suddenly comes on the line, as there is a wacking sound heard in the background. "Thank you for playing my request! Baldy is having much fun beating up my giant Barney stuffed toy!"

The next call comes on the line. "Can I request the Chappy Song?"

"Nee-sama!" Kon suddenly turns starry eyed. "Hold it! That brat did that on purpose!"

"I don't think Hitsugaya taicho would do something like that… would he?" the small medic's voice is timid sounding.

**Radio Dial Off  
Video Screen On**

Up on the screen in the room, a few pictures flash by, as Gin plays with a remote control device. It finally ends on two side by side pictures, one of the small taicho, and another of a star. He turns towards the video camera, as he sits in his chair. "I don't know about you, but I find the fact chibi-taicho doesn't know about Justin Beaver too!"

"Jokes aside, seriously, the definition of public domain, isn't freely found on the net. If Rangiku had pictures up on the net, she wouldn't want you to use them for whatever purpose," the man smiles.

However, a blond haired female steps irritable into the room. "Why would you mention a female having those kinds of pictures on the web. It's going to go and make people look for them."

"Those kinds of pictures?" Gin suddenly scratches his head. His mouth then opens in a big round shape. "Oh… ahh… not those kinds. And I never would have… posted any… uhh… Ran's pretty? And aren't you one to talk?"

Haibel sticks her hands on her hips. "Sure, I'm one to talk… you are the type that would post such pictures."

As she then storms out, Gin mutters under his breath. "No I'm not. That's mean."

However, he quickly cheers up, and turns back to his audience… which is non-existant. "Well, anyways, I have a few things to say about song fics."

"First, most songs have nothing to do with the actual fanfic, and the song is simply used to spice up a story. Cheating anyone, but then… you probably think I'm one to talk here. Second, the more the fanfic is comprised of the song, the less unique and ingenious you are really being. Is it possible to have a songfic where only ten percent is the authors."

"Oh… and we can't forget reasoning for using songfics. They just so happen to be playing songs on the radio. Wouldn't a few lyrics suffice. Or, the notorious fanfic idol. Actually, this one I have to laugh at. Can you imagine chibi-taicho to participate. You would have to either get him drunk or on a sugar high for him to participate. Not that he doesn't have a good singing voice, he's just… very shy about it. You can ask Ran!"

"Well, good-bye for now! See you next time!" Gin also smiles. "I am also glad no one is bothering to watch. Aizen would kill me for my idiocracy."

_**List: **__1-1a - List; 1-1b - blooper; 1-1c polls; 1-1d challenges; 1-1e author notes; 1-2 one liners; 1-3 MST; 1-4 Real People; 1-5a choose your adventure; 1-5b second person/you based; 1-5c Q __**1-6a chat/script format**__; 1-6b keyboard dialogue; 2-1 multiple entries; 2-2 rewriting names; __**2-3 songfic**__; 3-1 rated K & proper rating; 3-2 proper category; 3-3 separate entries; 4-1 proofread; 4-2 respect reviewers; 4-3 respect the writers; 4-4 proper text formatting_


End file.
